I tried to run from the calling of God on my life, and destroy the anointing while traveling to foreign countries. Satan was happy to help me out. And God allowed it because He knew He would get the Glory!
I found myself fed up with the way my physical life was going (my spiritual life and growth was great). My physical life was giving me a headache. I was fired from 4 jobs in the past 2 years and those last 4 jobs, co workers lied on me causing me to completely shut down and crawl into my shell. My light was totally dimmed. I couldn’t handle another attack in Corporate America. I couldn’t handle one more lie, deceit, or backstabbing. I couldn’t handle giving my all to a job and finding out that I’m unappreciated and hearing those words, “We’ve decided to let you go” one more time. I couldn’t handle adopting a negative attitude because the environment I was in would NOT let me be great. I thought to myself “Okay ‘Miss Can’t get right’ let’s go travel the World”. And I did just that. I rented out my apartment for 1 month and traveled to Mexico and Belize and got in the “belly of the whale” aka UA’s airplane. I found myself indulging in the ways of my old life. I tried just about everything in the song “Cranes in the Sky” by Solange. I found myself partaking in death by enjoying the things of this World more than enjoying My King who died to set a free from the very thing I was binding myself to.
The very thing that had me once in chains and at the alter singing at the top of my lungs, “break every chain” by Jesus Culture, I willingly chained myself to it… again. There is where I experienced Grace and Mercy at its fullness. I had an extra dose of it in that season.
As I arrived in “the belly of the whale” I found myself walking straight back into my calling. I found myself trying to fight it away and run it away but it kept finding me. As I spontaneously began to pour out Christ from my speaking and being, I knew that I would never get away. And I believe I began to embrace Christ even in that dark season I was in. I continued to love Him and spend time with Him. I found His Love to be MORE potent in that season- of course His Love is always the same but I found myself in plenty of undeserving situations where I KNEW I didn’t deserve His Love, mercy, grace or His presence. Jesus didn’t withhold anything from me in this season. In this season where I tried to “Cranes in the Sky” it away, away, away By Solange Knowles.
Consciencely I didn’t know all of this was going on until I looked back at how I lived through this season. Unconsciencely I tried to run a way from the calling of God! Consciensely I went away. Consciencely I thought it was the hurt from being fired 4 times, and the pain America’s hurting people I wanted to run from. It was so much pain and still is so much pain in this World and I “just knew” My answer was in traveling and escaping the US of A! Boy, was I ever so wrong!
I found my answer in Jesus upon my return. On 6/23/17 I took my relationship with Jesus to a new level as I chose to ask the Lord to make me a living overcomer. The most liberating decision I made was to surrender completely to Jesus. Clearly the day I decided to follow Jesus on May 6, 2009 I picked up some old habits again and I needed to “run to the Cross, run to the Cross” by rapper KB Fokus (voice of the youth). I found myself purposely running to the cross each day and my life began to overflow with peace and the abundant life. I am still running to the cross daily and resting in the arms of my Savior while enjoying/experiencing decreasing and allowing Him to increase within me.
I found purpose in my efforts of trying to run away. I found purpose in the spiritual attacks I received in Corporate America. I found out that no matter the situation or circumstances God would get the glory and what the enemy meant for harm God would truly turn it around for my good (Gen 50:20). I found out that I am truly called by God and there is no where I can hide from Him. I found out that even when I run I’ll find out that my answer always runs with me. My answer’s name is Jesus and His promises are true! I found out that no matter how much I try to ________ it away, I’ll always be able to find my answers in Jesus!
I’m so very thankful for that season because literally I feel like I’m walking on water now. Sure I have ups and downs like all people but I’ve definitely made a purposeful decision to keep Jesus in the boat with me as I travel through these human life experiences. So instead of _______ing it away, I Christ it away lol and it seems to be working. I come to Christ and lay my burdens at His feet like He has always said I (We) could do! Matt 11:28.
Well I hoped you enjoyed my transparent testimony as I totally exposed my entire life in this post.
If you have never made the decision to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and want to, feel free to ask your local pastor or believer. Or you can PM me on social media. Or you can pray right now. Lord Jesus I believe you love me with an everlasting love. I believe you came into the World to die for my sins and forgive my sins. Please come live in me and dine with me. I choose you to be my Lord and Savior! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
The Bible says, “anyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” Romans 10:13. Please share with a believer if this is your first time to pray that prayer! And please feel free to let me know by leaving a comment!
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